When You Finally Find Her, Fight For Her

WHEN YOU at long last met her, don’t expect her to instantly reciprocate your smile, affection, and care. She’s been through a lot and she wouldn’t deftly bare the fountain of her being for you to quench your thirst for every imaginable speck of curiosity you have about her. She’s witnessed them all: the mundane, the humdrum, and the lackluster. The passing of time made her deeply understand the footnotes for every arrival and departure; that the goodbyes of some are inevitable and to be replaced in someone’s heart is a thriving possibility.

When you ultimately decided to solemnly know her, expect her to push you away. Prepare not to cruise on a newly furnished highway complete with post lights and signs but be introduced into a concrete jungle of questions and uncertainties. There will be bricks and tests and sobbing. She easily trusted some people before but they betrayed her and like the morning mist along the shores, no trace of them can be found anymore. Yes, they left without any explanation with all their vows and promises.

When your paths at length crossed, always remind yourself that you only have one chance to be with her. In a world clad with so many options and choices, it’s facile and tempting to believe that someone will come along after her; that there’s a better, more alluring, and more brilliant soul waiting for you; that beyond the horizon is somebody else who’s a better fit to your personality. The truth is, there will always be someone more quick-witted, funnier, and exquisite than her. But remember that she’s more than the generalizations you can imagine. She’s greater than every conceivable affirmative adjective that your mind can pinpoint and grasp.

When your hearts eventually encounter each other, do everything to keep her. Focus on the little things and then to the complex, the grandeur, the complicated differences in your beliefs, principles, and roots. There’s excitement in novelty, in the realization that after a long time of waiting, you’re in each other’s arms. The days and the nights will be unlike before. The sun will shine brighter, everything will feel lighter, and the moon and stars will be clothed with poetry and rhymes. The clouds will have rejuvenated meanings and symbolism and together, you’ll joyfully search for their formations rudderless flowing above. Suddenly, you’ll dance with her under the pouring rain with a kind of music not dictated by external devices but by the voices entangled within you to celebrate life, to forget for a moment all the worries and frustrations both of you should endure.

When you, at last, see her, you may sense discomfort, banishment, and dismissal on her part. Over time, she has convinced herself that she won’t be needing anybody else in her life. She’s strong and confident and equipped with her dreams and passions. Doubts will enter your consciousness on whether you’ll pursue her or not. Recognize that if she’s gone this far, why would she crave for someone to be with her? But no matter how strenuous she is, be there for her. Be courageous and determined. Show your sincerity. Cheer her up, support her, and open her mind to a world she’s never been to before. Prove to her that being alone can be a thing of the past; that you have arrived.

Because when you finally found her, no matter how thirsty and yearning and hankering you are to discover the reservoir of the fountain of her being, you have to be patient. Brace yourself. Stand next to her. Pitch your most cherished coin. Listen. Splatter…

And when you’re both ready, drink.

(Thought Catalog published this piece on the 19th of April 2018.)

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22. You saw her

And for a moment, everything made sense.

Selfless

YOU DESERVE someone selfless.
Every day.
Every hour.
No, not just on your first two years together when everything’s perfect, smooth, and light.
When you seem to own the world as your eyes meet.
When the outside noise is irrelevant; their opinions, their voices in the background.
You deserve someone who doesn’t put you down but strives for you to reach your full potential.
You deserve someone who stands up for you, who fights for you and who will never give up on you no matter how difficult you can be sometimes.
You deserve someone who chooses you every time.
Keep that someone and be selfless as well.

Collision

IT’S NO longer a question of who’s braver, of who made the first move, or of who wrote the first letter. It’s all about how your universes collided. It’s about that one moment you saw each other differently; when the sun started to shine brighter; when time seemed to pass by faster; when you pictured the future together with no ounce of doubt in between. It’s the certainty of us at each sunrise that makes other things secondary like transitory blank slides. It’s about choosing each other every morning as you take life’s unpredictable rides.

An Open Letter To The Woman I’m Going To Fall In Love With

“In that moment when you wanted to give up, when you feel like I don’t exist, I will show up not with a tie and suit and greasy hair; not as a fountain of answers to all your worries; not as a dashing prince charming riding a white horse under the summer sun.”

(La Nourrice, Georges Seurat, 1884-85)

Dear you,

I know you’ve been waiting for me to finally come along, for us to meet, to have that ‘slow mo’ moment, for one of your dreams to be granted, for you to believe in the power of a prayer again, but please understand why it’s taking a little longer.

I still got a lot of growing up left to do. I have to understand myself better: strengths and weaknesses, what trips me off, what excites me, my motivations and aspirations, my personal goals. No doubt, I’ll commit mistakes and will get hurt so that when we finally meet, I’m stronger and more prepared to face the tides of life with you.

Please keep believing. Believe on the goodness of people. Don’t put up those walls right away when you meet a stranger you do not like. They may not have the same perspectives as you do, but who knows, they may have good and pure hearts. Give them a chance, learn to listen to their stories if the situation asks for it. Be there when they need a shoulder to lean on. Of course, it is inevitable that there are those who look like a saint on the surface but a beast inside. Be sensitive enough to distinguish and identify them as early as you can. Test them. Protect yourself always.

Never cease praying. No, don’t just pray for me, a yet unknown soul in a planet of about 9 billion people. Pray for your family, your country, and those who are in the midst of conflicts on different parts of the world. I think about them the same way I think about you. Just the thought of you fuels me to face each day with cheer in my core. I wonder how you look like, the tone of your voice, your laughter, your eyes, how you wear your hair…

I don’t want us to just be passive citizens of the world but contributors and workers for other people to be awakened to the reality that we should care about each other; that they may transform their societies towards the echelon of authentic progress.

Travel. I want you to discover other cultures and understand that we’re but a speck of dust in the vast universe. Learn another language, try their delicacies, and savor the warmth of their welcome. Take photos with them with a smile on your face so that when our hearts finally meet, we’ll share our experiences and learn from each other.

In theaters, I will hold your hand. We’ll laugh and cry and be scared to death together. By then, we’ll buy large-size popcorn. We’ll visit every museum, art gallery, and exhibit that we like for us to reconnect with the beauty of history and appreciate the passion and dedication that dignified men and women who have existed even before you and I were born have poured to their works. We’ll have infinite exchanges of our favorite songs and music artists and we’ll sing together whenever possible. I vow to be a loyal audience member of your every concert performance; the intimate ones, just you and I while staring at the sunset.

Enjoy your coffee. I want you to have those serene episodes for you to get in touch with your own thoughts, with your deepest dimensions, while taking a sip from your cup. Someday, we’ll talk and share our ideas about everything.

I know that whenever it rains, you think about me. You imagine us leisurely walking together on the sidewalk with mutual respect and admiration. Someday, I’ll hold your black umbrella and I’ll share my coat with you. We’ll find home in each other’s arms.

In that moment when you wanted to give up, when you feel like I don’t exist, I will show up not with a tie and suit and greasy hair; not as a fountain of answers to all your worries; not as a dashing prince charming riding a white horse under the summer sun. I will show up at a time you least expected. You’ll know that I have arrived because I will never give up on you even if you’ve put up a wall before I knew your name and yes, even before I said ‘Hi’ to you. You’ll know that I am the one that you’ve been waiting for because I will never let you doubt my sincerity and love for you. And then, I will show this to you and you’ll understand why it took me a while.

You’ll never be alone again.

Sincerely yours,
Your man

(This piece has been published in Thought Catalog on the 21st of July 2017.)