This Time Around, Trust That It Will Get Better

‘We’re in this puzzle of existence reaching out to the unknown, figuring out what makes sense, doing what’s good as dictated organically by our hearts.’

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When You Finally Find Her, Fight For Her

WHEN YOU at long last met her, don’t expect her to instantly reciprocate your smile, affection, and care. She’s been through a lot and she wouldn’t deftly bare the fountain of her being for you to quench your thirst for every imaginable speck of curiosity you have about her. She’s witnessed them all: the mundane, the humdrum, and the lackluster. The passing of time made her deeply understand the footnotes for every arrival and departure; that the goodbyes of some are inevitable and to be replaced in someone’s heart is a thriving possibility.

When you ultimately decided to solemnly know her, expect her to push you away. Prepare not to cruise on a newly furnished highway complete with post lights and signs but be introduced into a concrete jungle of questions and uncertainties. There will be bricks and tests and sobbing. She easily trusted some people before but they betrayed her and like the morning mist along the shores, no trace of them can be found anymore. Yes, they left without any explanation with all their vows and promises.

When your paths at length crossed, always remind yourself that you only have one chance to be with her. In a world clad with so many options and choices, it’s facile and tempting to believe that someone will come along after her; that there’s a better, more alluring, and more brilliant soul waiting for you; that beyond the horizon is somebody else who’s a better fit to your personality. The truth is, there will always be someone more quick-witted, funnier, and exquisite than her. But remember that she’s more than the generalizations you can imagine. She’s greater than every conceivable affirmative adjective that your mind can pinpoint and grasp.

When your hearts eventually encounter each other, do everything to keep her. Focus on the little things and then to the complex, the grandeur, the complicated differences in your beliefs, principles, and roots. There’s excitement in novelty, in the realization that after a long time of waiting, you’re in each other’s arms. The days and the nights will be unlike before. The sun will shine brighter, everything will feel lighter, and the moon and stars will be clothed with poetry and rhymes. The clouds will have rejuvenated meanings and symbolism and together, you’ll joyfully search for their formations rudderless flowing above. Suddenly, you’ll dance with her under the pouring rain with a kind of music not dictated by external devices but by the voices entangled within you to celebrate life, to forget for a moment all the worries and frustrations both of you should endure.

When you, at last, see her, you may sense discomfort, banishment, and dismissal on her part. Over time, she has convinced herself that she won’t be needing anybody else in her life. She’s strong and confident and equipped with her dreams and passions. Doubts will enter your consciousness on whether you’ll pursue her or not. Recognize that if she’s gone this far, why would she crave for someone to be with her? But no matter how strenuous she is, be there for her. Be courageous and determined. Show your sincerity. Cheer her up, support her, and open her mind to a world she’s never been to before. Prove to her that being alone can be a thing of the past; that you have arrived.

Because when you finally found her, no matter how thirsty and yearning and hankering you are to discover the reservoir of the fountain of her being, you have to be patient. Brace yourself. Stand next to her. Pitch your most cherished coin. Listen. Splatter…

And when you’re both ready, drink.

(Thought Catalog published this piece on the 19th of April 2018.)

22. You saw her

And for a moment, everything made sense.

Resistance

Peace will smile at her someday and she’ll try to resist how she feels. But she’ll smile back anyway.

Fire and Water

He’s fire.
She’s water.
When she tries to be with him, pieces of her turn into vapors. The wind takes them away; they are nowhere to be found. But she craves to be consumed. To sense his warmth. To forget for a moment the cold feeling inside. To decide on her own. Because only then, she’s reminded on how to be alive. She’s still searching for the missing pieces. Yes, up to this day to feel his touch all over again. And he’s waiting for her.

Selfless

YOU DESERVE someone selfless.
Every day.
Every hour.
No, not just on your first two years together when everything’s perfect, smooth, and light.
When you seem to own the world as your eyes meet.
When the outside noise is irrelevant; their opinions, their voices in the background.
You deserve someone who doesn’t put you down but strives for you to reach your full potential.
You deserve someone who stands up for you, who fights for you and who will never give up on you no matter how difficult you can be sometimes.
You deserve someone who chooses you every time.
Keep that someone and be selfless as well.

6. Accidentally seeing an old friend

“What if it’s a restart for both of you? What if it’s a spark for your lives to be reconnected?”

YES, IT’S awkward. The first few lines matter. But the ineluctable element is surprise. And we all love surprises.

It’s when you see a familiar face on a train, on a bus, in a mall, or at an airport. You ask yourself again and again if you’ve not mistaken. Aware that the only way to get to the bottom of things is to inquire, you look at him or her in the eyes. It’s a risky move. You can either feel like you just saw each other yesterday, like nothing has changed, or the years of the absence of communication took a toll in your bond and you became strangers.

It’s worth giving a try. Because the laughters and tears that have been shared in the past can never be replaced or altered. Experiences can never be erased. What if it’s a restart for both of you? What if it’s a spark for your lives to be reconnected? Approach him or her and discover for yourself if the line is still there. Let the motors of curiosity flow in your veins.

I still remember how I took a chance on an old friend standing just few feet away from me on a running train one day.

I approached her and asked: “Hi. How are you?”

With fascination, she responded: “Great! It’s nice to see you again…”

And the unuttered stories revealed themselves and engulfed us at that moment with hope, joy, and inspiration.