Na-‘Kita Kita’

HAYAAN MONG gaya nina Tonyo at Lea, magbibilang ako:

Isa. Isa kang rebelasyon, Empoy. Pinahanga mo kami. Matagal ko nang naisip na higit ka pa sa pagiging komedyante, isa kang artista. Naramdaman ko ‘yon noon dahil ‘ika nga nila, kapag komedyante ka, marami kang hugot, maraming pinagdaanan. Salamat pinatawa mo ‘ko sa sinehan kasama ang pamilya ko ng ilang beses. Maraming pinaiyak ang sulat mo.

Dalawa. Dalawang tanong ang nabuo sa isip ko habang pinapanood kita, Alex: una, umarte ka ba?; pangalawa, bakit parang ang tagal n’yo nang magkasama ni Empoy? Parang ang nangyari eh tinapatan ka ng camera, kinilig at lumabas ang dimple nang natural, at ayun! pelikula. Salamat sa mga patak ng luha mo sa dulo ng obra. Hanggang ngayon, hindi makamove-on yung ate ko sa napanood niya.

Tatlo. Tatlong elemento ang kapansin-pansing angat ang pelikula: unexpected love team, cinematography, at pacing. Pang-international yung dating. Salamat direk Sigrid Andrea Bernardo. Isa kang alamat! Hinangaan ko ang bawat eksena at anggulo. Nakagawa ka ng isang produkto na may kombinasyon ng lahat ng mga nabanggit na kinunan sa ibang bayan.

Apat. Apat ang producers ng pelikula: Piolo Pascual, Direk Joyce Bernal, Erickson Raymundo at Suzanne Shayne Sarte. Maraming salamat sa pagtaya. Sa panahon na nilalangaw ang industriya ng pelikulang Filipino eh naglakas-loob kayong gumawa, magisip, at magpuyat. Salamat sa pagpapanumbalik ng tiwala sa talento natin bilang mga storytellers at creators. Salamat sa respetong ibinigay ninyo sa aming mga manonood. Nabusog kami sa halakhak, lungkot, musika, saging, puso, at tunog ng kampana.

Lima, Anim, Pito. Naglalaro dito ang dami ng beses na pinaalalahanan ko ang nanay ko sa pagbibigay niya ng komento sa mga eksena. Madilim ang sinehan, maraming tao, at oo libre ang senior citizen sa sine sa Makati area.

Walo. Walong minuto bago mag-umpisa, ang haba ng pila para makabili ng cheese popcorn. Sa pagmamasid sa paligid, ilang dipa lang ang layo ng ilang tv personalities na nagaabang: Julius Babao, Bubbles Paraiso, Raymond Gutierrez. Physically fit na nga si Raymond gaya ng nabalita.

Siyam. Siyam na beses kong pinanood ang trailer. Siyam na beses din akong umasa na sana maging blockbuster movie ito ngayong taon matapos ipull-out last minute sa MMFF 2016. Siyam na beses din akong maniniwala na hudyat ito sa muling pagtitiwala nating mga Filipino na kaya nating makagawa ng quality films na tatangkilikin at pararangalan maging sa international stage.

Sampu. Sampung milyong piso ang budget ng pelikula. Inasahan ng mga producers na kikita ito ng 50 hanggang 60 milyong piso. Sa huling ulat, umabot na ito sa 200 milyong piso. Samantalang hindi ang takilya ang sukatan ng value ng isang work of art, gaya ng pangunahing karakter nito sa una, may higit pa sa nakikita ng mga mata. May ipinaramdam ang ‘Kita Kita’ sa mga manonood na matagal nilang hindi naramdaman sa ipinalabas na mga pelikula sa Pilipinas.

10. Impromptu hosting

HAVE YOU ever been asked to be the instant host of an event?  Well, it’s thrilling. But if it’s in your blood, you should always be ready. It should not be a burden to you.

It brings a different feeling whenever you stand in front of a lot of people. Their eyes are glued to you. Their ears and minds waiting for your every move and instruction. It’s about being in control and a catalyst for laughter to surface in a room of desserts and awards.

Conjunctions are essential; witty lines are required. As the life of the show, you must have a mastery of what’s supposed to happen next. But as an impromptu host, the challenge is tenfold. You have to gather in less than 2 minutes all of the information that you can get. You have to familiarize yourself with the kind of audience you have: their likes and dislikes, their inhibitions, the limits in culture and religion. Or else, you’ll fail without you knowing it. You have to be sensitive to their needs like a mother to her child; be aware when to emphasize your thoughts and ideas. Timing is a valuable commodity; facial expression matters.

After all, hosting is acting. It’s a performance for the audience to have a good time, to enjoy and forget some sections of their lives. Yes, even if you’re notified shortly by your boss while sitting next to her in between your sessions with your mud pie topped with vanilla ice cream.

9. Birthday bash!

ALTHOUGH IT’S something that has been planned weeks ago (and even if it’s in my Outlook calendar), still, attending a birthday bash at work adds a sense of enjoyment inside.

There are games and songs and Q&As and strangers in a room full of balloons, cakes, and gifts wrapped in variety of colors. But do you know what’s more exciting than these things? It’s the chance to be reminded that one day in the past, you were born, may be, surrounded by relatives and nurses and doctors who were all smiles looking at you – the newest arrival, the cutest creature, the innocent one. It’s hard not to put value into it. It’s difficult to comprehend everything that had to happen for someone like you to exist: your parents met, they fell in love, decided to raise a family, hardships and challenges in between. They never cowered to face life head on to nurture you, to give you the best life they could give, that you may grow up to be a good person. Again, good. Good which sometimes we take for granted because of the menacing distractions around us.

And so, if you’re in your twenties, or thirties, or in your senior years, give yourself a break, play and jump and laugh just because you want to as you completely cross-out the 365 days that have passed. Because each year is not promised. Open yourself up. Choose to be free. Be birthday bashed!

8. Package delivered

IT’S HEARTWARMING whenever someone appreciates us. It’s when a friend or someone we know give thanks to a small, little deed that we did for them. It’s when they reciprocate our goodness because we never bilked them at any point. While it is true that we should do things for other people not expecting in return, it’s still overwhelming. It could be a favor, a long-forgotten help that we offered for them in college or at work, or because of a recent event which had you both rejoiced. Whatever it is, it surely puts a smile on our face.

But do you know what’s more exciting than that? It’s receiving a package. Cutter. Tape. Unboxing. Bubble wraps. And sometimes a letter.

We may be living in an age when things are done in an instant but nothing beats a box that came from a different place; a present that’s been well-thought-of. It’s wonderful to imagine that a person spent his or her precious time thinking about you, your wants and desires; for preparing everything that’s inside the box.

Words are special but actions matter more. Blessed!

7. A stranger got you covered

YOU’RE ON your way home. It’s cold. Rain started to thunder the streets. You were excited as someone who sees the sentimentality that every drop brings. It was fun at first but you realized that you have no umbrella or coat with you. You searched for a cover but you couldn’t find one. Open area. Noise. Smog. And then a stranger with an umbrella came along and asked you: “Do you want to join me? We’re headed to the same way, maybe?”

It’s beautiful, isn’t it? How many times have you asked someone who’s exposed to the pouring rain if they need help and whether they wanted you to share your umbrella with them? It doesn’t happen that often. We all have our reasons and I completely understand that. That little touch of kindness, which is a bold gesture of empathy and compassion, speaks a great deal about a person’s values. Yes, it’s unsafe sometimes but it’s still a good act that some of us forget. “I don’t know who they are, why should I even care?” is our favorite line.

But what if that time comes that it’s you who need help? What if you’re on your way to work to attend a very important meeting and it suddenly started to rain and you’re hindered because you forgot to check the weather forecast earlier that day in the area and you didn’t bring your umbrella? What if you cry helplessly inside for but nobody cares? More importantly, when did you last imagine yourself in the place of others who are suffering or in a challenging situation?

They say that real heroes lie within us. We just have to recognize them and believe that they exist. Sharing an umbrella is a heroic act. Do it. Don’t hesitate. Wait ’til it’s raining cats and dogs again.

6. Accidentally seeing an old friend

YES, IT’S awkward. The first few lines matter. But the ineluctable element is surprise. And we all love surprises.

It’s when you see a familiar face on a train, on a bus, in a mall, or at an airport. You ask yourself again and again if you’ve not mistaken. Aware that the only way to get to the bottom of things is to inquire, you look at him or her in the eyes. It’s a risky move. You can either feel like you just saw each other yesterday, like nothing has changed, or the years of the absence of communication took a toll in your bond and you became strangers.

It’s worth giving a try. Because the laughters and tears that have been shared in the past can never be replaced or altered. Experiences can never be erased. What if it’s a restart for both of you? What if it’s a spark for your lives to be reconnected? Approach him or her and discover for yourself if the line is still there. Let the motors of curiosity flow in your veins.

I still remember how I took a chance on an old friend standing just few feet away from me on a running train one day.

I approached her and asked: “Hi. How are you?”

With fascination, she responded: “Great! It’s nice to see you again…”

And the unuttered stories revealed themselves and engulfed us at that moment with hope, joy, and inspiration.

5. The elevator’s available

YOU FELL in love with the thrill of reaching out to something, of being a triumphant being, of defeating time itself. But inside your head, you only have one wish: let the elevator be available for you not to be late again.

An available, working, and sometimes empty elevator doesn’t happen that often especially during rush hour. The building is full of people who use it on their way to the nearby mall or restaurant or just because they want to breathe in fresh air outside the confines of their office. But if you’re running late, it can be considered a blessing from above for your wish to be heard. There’s sweat and blame and reasoning going on. Images pop in your head every time: your boss reminding you of the Code of Ethics of the company for tardiness; the guard who doesn’t miss the chance to inquire what went wrong; and your conscience itself silently telling you that you’re better than this.

            Shift:  9 A.M. – 6 P.M.

            Ground floor:   8:55 A.M.

            4th floor:           8:57 A.M.

            9th floor:           8:59 A.M.

            Time in:             8:59 A.M.

“This will never happen again” you would say. “I promise.”

And it’s a good thing that you work on the 9th floor. Can you imagine the struggle of those assigned on the 32nd floor?

4. Someone offered you a seat

YOU’RE ON your way home. You’re on the brink of total exhaustion. You wanted to tightly embrace your pillow to forget all the body aches, the outside noise, the unavoidable rancid smell from other commuters, the challenges of the day. You missed your soft, smooth bed that assures you home. But you couldn’t. You stood on a train. When you got in, no seat was available. It’s jam-packed again. It’s hot. You wanted to rest right at that moment. But for some reason, unexpectedly, someone offered you a seat. You’re surprised, puzzled, and at the same time grateful.

There, on that scene, you’re reminded of the goodness of people. You felt more comfortable and relaxed. You listened to your favorite songs. And as you alighted from the train, you stared at the stranger who sacrificed for you and you wholeheartedly offered your gratitude. It was an unforgettable day. It was a gift.

3. Bubble wrap

WHEN IT comes to some of the simplest yet satisfying experiences, squishing and bursting and popping of bubble wraps will always be at the top section of the list. For every delivery and purchase with a box, free bubble wraps will always be present. We silently look forward to that regularly spaced, pliable transparent plastic with protruding air-filled hemispheres as part of the package. There’s a sense of relief whenever we puncture air out of each bubble with our thumbs. It’s a superior alternate to stress balls and way safer than throwing plates, appliances, or cellphones on a concrete wall. It’s so compelling that we want to hear the enticing sound up to the last bubble. Bubbly wrap yourself up!

Collision

IT’S NO longer a question of who’s braver, of who made the first move, or of who wrote the first letter. It’s all about how your universes collided. It’s about that one moment you saw each other differently; when the sun started to shine brighter; when time seemed to pass by faster; when you pictured the future together with no ounce of doubt in between. It’s the certainty of us at each sunrise that makes other things secondary like transitory blank slides. It’s about choosing each other every morning as you take life’s unpredictable rides.

2. You won in a raffle

BE IT a washing machine, a rice cooker, a Starbucks gift certificate, a bunch of cash, or an SUV, nothing beats the feeling of being a winner. Yes, a winner in a raffle draw that you did not even think about when you attended a party, a TEDx talk, or dragged yourself in a meeting, a conference, or a company event. Everyone stared and cheered for you as if you’re a gladiator who just triumphed over a pack of beasts at the Colosseum. Your heart beat faster and faster. The room erupted with joy. You solemnly followed the rules and voilà! “And the winner is… (your name).” Congratulations!

1. You woke up today

WHAT’S MORE fascinating than that? Isn’t it awesome to realize that you have another chance to make things right, to reconnect and build ties, to laugh and smile and greet the security guard who’s been up all night to secure your workplace?

Declare that today, you’ll do better. Pronounce that you’ll own this day and treat it as if it’s your last. Forget about your shortcomings and failures in the past. Restart. Recharge. And leave all the heavy baggage from yesterday to move forward.

You woke up today and that means you have another opportunity to enjoy life and appreciate everything. Yes, even the little things.

Fleeting perfection

I WANTED to write about President Duterte and his third rape slur but I couldn’t. I wanted to discuss my dismay on the reinstatement of a police official in the Espinosa slay but something’s hindering me. I wanted to tell you my support to the Office of the Ombudsman in its move to press charges against former President Benigno Aquino III for mishandling the Mamasapano operation during his term in which 44 Special Action Force (SAF) members have been killed by a mix of rebel groups in the south but I won’t do it. I wanted to write about poverty, education, and health problems of my country but a part of me doesn’t want to.

I guess it’s because it’s Sunday. We deserve a break, don’t we? We do not want to hear any negative, saddening news on this day. We worked all week to spend this day for ourselves, our families, and our friends. I fully understand where you’re coming from.

Because of these, I am not going to delve deeper on what’s going on. Just like you, I am going to treat this day as a gift that I won’t let anything taint it with reminders of corruption, murder, homicide, suicide and of children in a state of shock, covered with blood, and white ashes because of bomb explosions. Because this day is a fleeting perfection and one should shy away from all distractions.

And so, I hope to see you next Sunday when we’ll transform all over again, to try to forget everything, and to pretend.

An Open Letter To The Woman I’m Going To Fall In Love With

(La Nourrice, Georges Seurat, 1884-85)

Dear you,

I know you’ve been waiting for me to finally come along, for us to meet, to have that ‘slow mo’ moment, for one of your dreams to be granted, for you to believe in the power of a prayer again, but please understand why it’s taking a little longer.

I still got a lot of growing up left to do. I have to understand myself better: strengths and weaknesses, what trips me off, what excites me, my motivations and aspirations, my personal goals. No doubt, I’ll commit mistakes and will get hurt so that when we finally meet, I’m stronger and more prepared to face the tides of life with you.

Please keep believing. Believe on the goodness of people. Don’t put up those walls right away when you meet a stranger you do not like. They may not have the same perspectives as you do, but who knows, they may have good and pure hearts. Give them a chance, learn to listen to their stories if the situation asks for it. Be there when they need a shoulder to lean on. Of course, it is inevitable that there are those who look like a saint on the surface but a beast inside. Be sensitive enough to distinguish and identify them as early as you can. Test them. Protect yourself always.

Never cease praying. No, don’t just pray for me, a yet unknown soul in a planet of about 9 billion people. Pray for your family, your country, and those who are in the midst of conflicts on different parts of the world. I think about them the same way I think about you. Just the thought of you fuels me to face each day with cheer in my core. I wonder how you look like, the tone of your voice, your laughter, your eyes, how you wear your hair…

I don’t want us to just be passive citizens of the world but contributors and workers for other people to be awakened to the reality that we should care about each other; that they may transform their societies towards the echelon of authentic progress.

Travel. I want you to discover other cultures and understand that we’re but a speck of dust in the vast universe. Learn another language, try their delicacies, and savor the warmth of their welcome. Take photos with them with a smile on your face so that when our hearts finally meet, we’ll share our experiences and learn from each other.

In theaters, I will hold your hand. We’ll laugh and cry and be scared to death together. By then, we’ll buy large-size popcorn. We’ll visit every museum, art gallery, and exhibit that we like for us to reconnect with the beauty of history and appreciate the passion and dedication that dignified men and women who have existed even before you and I were born have poured to their works. We’ll have infinite exchanges of our favorite songs and music artists and we’ll sing together whenever possible. I vow to be a loyal audience member of your every concert performance; the intimate ones, just you and I while staring at the sunset.

Enjoy your coffee. I want you to have those serene episodes for you to get in touch with your own thoughts, with your deepest dimensions, while taking a sip from your cup. Someday, we’ll talk and share our ideas about everything.

I know that whenever it rains, you think about me. You imagine us leisurely walking together on the sidewalk with mutual respect and admiration. Someday, I’ll hold your black umbrella and I’ll share my coat with you. We’ll find home in each other’s arms.

In that moment when you wanted to give up, when you feel like I don’t exist, I will show up not with a tie and suit and greasy hair; not as a fountain of answers to all your worries; not as a dashing prince charming riding a white horse under the summer sun. I will show up at a time you least expected. You’ll know that I have arrived because I will never give up on you even if you’ve put up a wall before I knew your name and yes, even before I said ‘Hi’ to you. You’ll know that I am the one that you’ve been waiting for because I will never let you doubt my sincerity and love for you. And then, I will show this to you and you’ll understand why it took me a while.

You’ll never be alone again.

Sincerely yours,
Your man

(This piece has been published in Thought Catalog on the 21st of July 2017.)

Sa ating dalawa

umuulan…
nasaan…?

ilang tula na rin ang naialay at naisulat
habang sa isipan ngiti mo’y nagmumulat
kung anong sunod na sasabihin at
bibigyang-buhay

ilang beses nang pinilas ang mga pahina
ng kuwaderno na minsan mong hinalikan
nang mabasa ang pangalan na, oo, sa
nakalipas na panahon ay walang
sawang binigyang-kulay

ginamit ang mga titik upang malaman
ang umpisa at malirip ang mga kalaliman
ng pagsinta na nagliyab sa pagasa nang
isang beses ay pinigilang umalis sa harapan –
“Nandito ako…”

ang sabi mo noon, ngunit narito hanggang
ngayo’y naaalala ang mga pangako ng pagiisang
dibdib, ang paghamak sa mga yugto ng
nakaraan na itinuring na walang
puwang kahit anino

ng namamagitan sa atin, ngunit hindi…

isang araw sinabi mong babalikan mo siya
at aasa ng magisa sa pagtanggap niya,
sa yakap niya, sa muli niyang paghagkan,
sa tinig na noong una’y kinamuhian mo’t
pilit binura sa isipan, nang
tuluyang kumawala

at heto, muli, ako’y binabati ng mga patak ng
ulan, tinatanong kung nasaan ka, kung
anong nangyari sa ating dalawa
at kung paano wawakasan sa
huling titik ng ‘yong
pangalan

aasa…

“Sexiest Women”

This world celebrates the “Sexiest Women” and wonders why rape cases are all over. This world feasts on the flesh of ladies in two piece and ranks them annually as if being at the top is the greatest achievement that one can ever receive. This world wanted them to show off their curves and forget about modesty. Glossy magazines with “almost naked women” as the cover is “art”, a form of expression according to their lexicon. And this world is still trying to figure out why some men lust over their lives – hands tied, blood everywhere, no clothes on.

Hanggang sa dulo

Nabuwal na minsan sa paghabol sa’yo,
Nagtanong kung tunay bang ikaw at ako –
Sa dulo, mamahalin ba o lilimutin din?
Gaya ng iba na napagod pagsapit ng dilim?